Thursday, January 9, 2014

1/52

Week one. Done. Here we go. 

I’ve always wanted to be a mother but I never could have imagined the joy my two girls bring into my life. Watching them grow up and develop into these magnificent, fun, strong-willed, funny and engaging beings brings both Mike and me the utmost happiness. There are so many times each week I want to make time stand-still and soak it all in because it is going by so quickly. There has never been a happier time in my life. Our life can be hectic, overwhelming and crazy but there is so much joy I could burst.

The start of the New Year wasn’t the easiest. We’ve all been battling illness. Avery started with a cold that turned to a bad case of croup. I was next and Mike was in bed for three out of five days to start the New Year. It was hard. We have not quite found a routine as a family of four. If Mike is working or sick (because when he's here he is the most engaged and fun Dad these girls could have), as it was, I am constantly worried I’m not tending to each child’s needs. I worry I’m forcing each to flex more than is right for their young age. Logan only wants to nap in my arms and Avery is still young and needs and wants a lot of love and attention. I want to give that to both of them but it doesn’t always happen. As such, Avery has watched far more TV than I would have imagined I’d allow my two year old. She loves movies and will cuddle in our bed watching something as I hold her sister. I keep trying to remember that this is temporary, that she won’t always watch this much TV and that the cuddle time is good for her because she at least feels loved and is close to me.

It’s the days when TV is at a minimum, I’ve showered before 8:00am, our bed is made and we’ve made it outside for at least thirty minutes that I feel like I’m actually succeeding at motherhood. We have one of those days for every two of the other. We’ll get there. I’ve given us three daily goals in an attempt for frequent “good” days.

- 30 minutes outside every day no matter the weather
- 30 minutes of unstructured Avery room time
- 30 minutes of creating together

That’s only an hour and a half of our day so it should be doable. Here’s why these three things are so important to me.

Outside
Avery loves to be outside and I need to be outside. If I can get out, even for a small walk, I feel more together, more energized and more engaged with my girls. Holy cow, is it an effort to get out of the house sometimes with both girls. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t days when I’m putting on hats, mittens, boots, finding blankets, nursing the baby, trying to get her in the Ergo, packing snacks and etc. that I don’t want to throw something across the room or kick a cupboard on my way out. It’s hard. But, once we’re out and we start moving. I feel so much better. Avery does too and Logan is just starting to watch the world from the Ergo.

Unstructured Room Time
Avery is so creative and watching her run around her little room and play demonstrates her need for the unstructured play. Lilu and Auntie Andi gave her a teepee for Christmas. She loves to hide in there, read books, turn on her little flashlight and play little games. We’ve also just started playing “shark!”. We sit on her bed as if it’s a boat and run away from the pretend sharks on the floor. “Mama, shark!” she yells and we jump around and squeal. I hope it also encourages her and Logan to play together in the next few months (or six or ten).  My biggest challenge is her room is upstairs and I feel a need to be up there with her during this time. I’d like to slowly start sneaking away and let her playtime be more independent. However, I do love this time with her.

Creating Together
If I manage to be organized enough to plan an art activity or and “experiment” it makes Avery’s day. I try to tell her about it before nap and when she wakes up her first words are “down” and “paint” or “nest” or whatever the activity is we’ve decided upon. She’s so proud of her final product and can’t wait to show her Daddy. It makes my heart sing.  

So, these are the goals. I can do this, right? I am also aware that there will be days when it just won’t happen and that’s ok, too. As long as both girls feel loved, nurtured and are relatively clean and fed then we’ll survive.

On to the portraits.

Avery 1/52
In an attempt to take their portraits during the first week of 2014 I shoved a camera in her face when she woke up from nap on Sunday. I'm not sure she was as delighted by this project as I, but I love her sweet faces. Right before Christmas she moved into her big-girl bed and wakes up with wild bed head and sometimes a smile and sometimes a cranky demeanor. She wants to cuddle as soon as she wakes up and says "mama bed". I pick her up and carry her into our bed and snuggle for a few more minutes. Sometimes it's with Daddy and baby, too. That's even better. The third photo is after I interrupted her...watching a movie on the computer. She didn't want me to take any more photos. 



Logan 1/52
Logan may not be the best napper but whenever she wakes up, no matter how short of long the nap, she gets the biggest and sweetest smiles. She smiles so big and so wide that her whole body curls up into a ball. I love holding her and I love watching this happy baby grow. 






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